We are not taught well to deal with conflict. It is uncomfortable and often we try to avoid it at all costs. No one likes the feeling of a disagreement, especially when it involves those you are most relying on – your executive team.
Unfortunately with the age of social media and other real life behavioral trends it seems to be that we look to align with those who are most like us, who agree with us, and who have the same values as we do. Which does make for peaceful living.
However, to build a productive organization it is healthy to foster an environment of differing opinions. Those who bring a different perspective from their own experiences will enrich your company with new ideas and new ways of doing things.
But we need to develop the skill and the culture within our teams that allows for disagreements or differing opinions. This starts with conversations being pre-framed in such a way that ‘we can agree to disagree’ but that each party will take into consideration the other person’s perspective.
This calls for giving up the need to be ‘right’ about everything and takes the approach that there is always something that we can learn from others for the improvement of ourselves and our professional position.
Listening to others from an objective way of thinking also creates the space needed to hear an opinion that is different from our own. When we begin to take things personally it shuts down our ability to hear the context rather than just the content and narrows our thinking.
The same goes for when we are sharing our own perspective – keep it objective, never getting personal with people or too heightened emotionally that your communication becomes muddied. Keep your language positive and open-ended.
Find a position of agreement – this the key to any successful negotiation. It is all too easy to keep looking at all the points we disagree on. Rather, open yourself to the opportunity to agree and when you find this start here to build out the pathway forward. There is always some shared belief of values that are a common ground.
A healthy organization will know how to manage conflict and will cherish the richness that differing opinions bring – varied approaches, unique communication styles and vast experience – all contributing in its own way to the overall success of the company.
